By John Wart

Yik Yak’s recent “Yak Match” event has led to Montevallo’s student body reporting rising rates of sexually transmitted diseases.  

For years, students have used the social media app Yik Yak to anonymously discuss topics relating to their respective universities.  

Surrounding Valentine’s Day 2026, Yik Yak launched “Yak Match,” which would take anonymous users and match them up with each other for friendship or relationships.  

The first two weeks of Yak Match matched friends together, while the third week matched users with the end goal of forming relationships. 

As users met, relationships formed. They weren’t the only thing forming, though. 

One user wrote: “My Yak Match had these weird bump birthmark things and somehow, I got them now. What’s going on guys?” A trend of strange symptoms followed this user’s claims, and the university nurses noted this trend shows true in person. 

“Yeah, I don’t even know what I saw down there,” a nurse said regarding one student’s condition. “They had something, that’s for sure.” 

After the news spread, experts came to the university to study the results, shocking many. “I can’t believe this. I’m gonna have to take a break for a few days,” a concerned Yik Yak user said.

Amid the chaos, a man named John Wart stepped forward. “Hey guys I’m really sorry guys I did this I’m sorry guys can you guys please stop being mad at Yik Yak sorry about that sorry I hope you get well soon guys okay bye,” John Wart said. 

Experts said they are rushing to determine the validity of John Wart’s claims. Their response is expected in the coming days.