/Breaking News: Purples save the city and get the girl, but still lose college night

Breaking News: Purples save the city and get the girl, but still lose college night

By Harrison Neville

Heroes and villains collide in a colorful clash for dominance in Purple Side’s show “Bad at Being Bad OR The League of Incredibly Evil Wrongdoers Who Sometimes Do Good.”  

The show begins with John Jansen, a local newscaster informing citizens that there is another battle between heroes and villains occurring.  

The first scene sets the stage for viewers and highlights the one sidedness of the conflict between the forces of good and evil, as the villains are absolutely trounced by the heroes, Solarflare, Sunflow, Sparrow and, most prominently, Falcon-Man.  

The villains retreat back to their lair where, one of their compatriots, Killswitch, is alone and thinking about her friend Dag-her, a villain who disappeared recently. When the other villains arrive, there is an argument about Killswitch missing the heist. They are interrupted by Dr. Weevil, the leader of The League of Incredibly Evil Wrongdoers, who is furious at their failure.  

Weevil sends them out and tells them to recruit a new member to help them. The recruitment process is shown through the song “What It Takes.” In the end, the villains select Eddy, who has no powers, but has a desire to destroy the heroes.  

The villains assemble and go out to cause chaos, but are confronted by the heroes. This is the first time that Eddy is introduced to the heroes, and there is some small flirting between Eddy and Falcon-Man’s sidekick, Sparrow.  

Another song commences, and the villains and heroes fight. In the background, Eddy can be seen helping various citizens to safety. This leads to later issues, because the news reports Eddy as a new hero, and Dr. Weevil is furious when she finds out. The other villains blame Killswitch for recruiting Eddy, so Dr. Weevil gives them both one final chance to redeem themselves by robbing a local mansion during a gala.  

Before they go to the gala, Eddy sings a song revealing that her parents were killed and she blames superheroes.  

The next scene shows Eddy and Killswitch at the gala, where they attempt to blend in as socialites. Eddy runs into Sparrow who is there out of costume, but Sparrow doesn’t recognize Eddy. To distract Sparrow from a ruckus Killswitch causes, Eddy asks her to dance. The two are attracted to each other, but Eddy has to leave after the dance to talk to Killswitch.  

Killswitch finds a button that says do not press, so Eddy decides to press it, which causes costumes to lower from the ceiling. The costumes are revealed to belong to Dag-her, the missing villain, and Magento, another hero who has been missing. Sparrow arrives on the scene and confronts the two, but is distracted by what she sees. With Sparrow distracted, Killswitch and Eddy make their escape.  

The billionaire owner of the mansion, Mr. Miller, who is also Falcon-Man, walks up and sees what Sparrow is looking at. He reveals that he killed Magento and Dag-her order to fuel the conflict between heroes and villains, which his company has profited from. This also allowed him to stay popular as a hero. Miller threatens Sparrow and then leaves. Sunflow and Solarflare, come out of the shadows and tell Sparrow they have her back.  

The lights go out, and during the scene transition, John Jansen pops out of the orchestra pit and reports the petty thievery that occurred at the Miller mansion.  

The lights turn on, and we see a bar full of villains called The Doomsday Dive. A spotlight shows Sparrow, Sunflow and Solarflare off stage talking outside the bar, agreeing they have to go inside and ask for the villains’ help.  

Inside, Killswitch and Eddy are telling the rest of the villains what they saw. The villains are all horrified and scared by the prospect of someone killing off villains and heroes.  

The heroes enter, and there is almost a fight, but Sparrow and Eddy keep things under control. Sparrow reveals that Mr. Miller and Falcon-Man are one and the same, which causes the entire bar to shout in surprise. 

The heroes and villains agree to work together and the heroes leave. 

The next scene shows Sparrow and Falcon-Man together. Sparrow tells him that he’ll never get away with everything, and Falcon-Man warns her that he can get rid of her if he needs to. When the two arrive at the bank where a crowd is waiting to thank Falcon-Man for saving the city, Sparrow reveals Falcon-Man’s crimes. The citizens don’t believe it at first, but then John Jansen burst out with the rest of the heroes and reveals that Sparrow was wearing a recording wire, and they have Falcon-Man’s confession on tape.  

The villains then arrive and the fight starts. It seems that Falcon-Man will triumph, but Eddy takes a sword and stabs him. He falls to the ground and is dragged away by Dr. Weevil. Eddy and Sparrow choose to work together as heroes, and Killswitch reluctantly joins. A final song plays as the heroes and villains dance on stage and the battle between heroes and villains continues.  

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Harrison Neville is the previous Editor in chief for The Alabamian. He is a fourth-year English major whose hobbies include reading, hiking, cooking and writing. He has previously worked for The Alabamian as a managing editor, distribution manager, copy editor and SGA columnist.