Photo by Scout Gunn, Business manager. By Scout Gunn, Business manager
It was announced that Caleb Jernigan has been declared the new “Exaulted and Supreme Emperor of the Free and Independent State formerly known as the University of Montevallo.” This decision came after a long search that started over the summer and continued throughout the fall and spring semesters. After collecting the attributes that the students said would fit their perfect university emperor, it was discovered that the attributes lined up into an acrostic poem that read “C A L E B J E R N I G A N,” which resulted in Jernigan being appointed.
Freddie the Falcon knows this may come as a shock to some, so he has offered his reassurances that everything will go smoothly. Freddie says, “I believe Caleb Jernigan will enjoy being the new president and take on this new role with honor,” enthusiastically endorsing Jernigan’s ability to lead the University of Montevallo.
The Ghost Council of Montevallo, led by Trummy, spoke for the rest of the ghosts of Montevallo. They also seem to endorse Jernigan for the role. “OOOooooooOOooooOoooOoooo,” Trummy whispers as he shakes the chandelier.
The lawn mowers seem to be having a grand time trimming away the grass around Calkins and Flower Hill to be the perfect height for Jernigan. Their support is truly remarkable.
The students also seem pleased with the decision to have Jernigan as the new president. Students are looking forward to see what Jernigan will do now that he is no longer SGA president but the university emperor.
Jernigan himself does not know he has been elected to serve as the University of Montevallo’s new president. He will be pleasantly surprised to find that when he wakes up, he will be completely moved into Flower Hill. All of his belongings, and his best pal Freddie the Falcon, are currently in Flower Hill waiting to be discovered by Jernigan awaking.
